Wednesday, July 27, 2016

like an endless river

it was a few days ago during that pink moment of dusk when i caught a reflection of the bottom of my shoe from the passenger side mirror.  we were driving slow enough for me to have my foot out the window and the haunting lyrics of an old song we are all familiar with hums, 'too much walkin' shoes worn thin'.  it occurred to me in that beautiful moment that many of my worries were about to be left behind.

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however this last week hit me hard and hollowed me out like a log.  spare the typically esoteric nature of my blog, i can't help but hide my feelings in my strange words.  i want to ask, 'what the hell man?' and i want to ask it to two friends.  the first i would ask will not respond because he has left the corporal form which allows speech (at least in the type we recognize).  the second i would ask might not get to hear me ask that for a long time and that's a shame.  yet i look at the holes in my shoes like they are supposed to represent me somehow.

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making a film is really exciting.  i see the world differently when it is in time-lapsed cloudy sky beauty and the drops of water which separate from the falling waters in slow motion always make me feel free.

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don't vote for trump.  come on.

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the suburbs are a very conservative place, i'm into it.. but i don't alter my appearance to pretend that i am part of this system here and that means people are going to surprise me once in a while with fear, doubt and offensive questions.  'oh you're going to mexico?  didn't those two guys just DIE in mexico when they were passing through?'  dude that shit gets to me.. i'll never be able to handle this place and it sucks a bit.  i'll never be able to overcome the anxiety, maybe i do belong in the jungle..

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i went to a festival two weeks ago among some of the most open-minded people i've ever met.  it restored my faith in people for a while.  i'm not against the masses i just wish people would remember that they too are only animals.  it's true.  we are animals and we wear pants but we are indeed beast.  from the moment we are born we are shaped into the norms and standards of whatever group governs us be rest assured we aren't more than the animal kingdom.  yet when i went to this festival i saw us, the human-animal, in the light of the goddess (our universe).

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i'm no more found today that i was when i started this journey many years ago.  i'm sorry if i've let any readers of this blog down as i've asked the same questions for years.  perhaps my silence of questioning has been indicative of a new knowledge which has permitted me to wipe my slate clean.  i have since taken everything that i thought i believed and wiped it clean only to form new a new perspective of the world around me.. yet i can't figure it out.  what's happened to us?  when did we become so out of tune?

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Sean Wakeley

My friend,

None of us have it, any answer or any indication that we have a reason to be here at all.  Sometimes I think the distance I've been away from home and the millions of lifetimes I've watched with my eyes are but milliseconds in this crazy universe and I have a hard time thinking it really matters in the long run.  Yet laughter catches us off guard at times and the contagious spirits of our friends keep us reinvented and afresh, no longer alone in our uncertainties.  We lost a good human being from this earth today. Thanks for bringing me smiles and a few steps closer to understanding this world.

See you down the river, Sean