Version 4.0

My son turned four yesterday, and I realized something very beautiful that I just wanted to document. Not only was he celebrating his very fun birthday with awesome friends and family, but we were also celebrating four years of having Salem in our lives; the best four years of my life.

I wanted that written somewhere. 

Soul Searching

If I were to randomly transport to this moment in time from any other moment in time, it would be just as easy to tell that it's currently early September. It's not the weather or the shortening days, but something about this month keeps me on edge, and I think writing about it will help me figure out why.

The obvious reasons would still be valid. Summer is almost over and school is back in session. As a kid, both of those brought me a lot of anxiety, and I'm sure they did for everyone else. But, this month in this year I feel off about something. 

I need something. Maybe I need someone. Maybe I just need some attention. It seems like my 40's are quickly becoming a chapter where many good friends are becoming strangers, and I'm kind of bummed about it.

So, on days like today I wake up early (I always wake up early) and I find some angle to watch the sunrise, either by couch or morning run. It's my alone time and I use it to think about things, but it never gets me anywhere.

And, I dabble. I'll get really interested in things like watercolor painting or ocarinas and for a short while I'll obsess over them. That feels good to me. Art and music have been the guiding light to my life's journey, and even though I'm not professionally employed through either, the core of my being has always revolved around both. So, I never really find any answers there, only comfort. 

Soul searching.. Isn't that what this blog has always been about?