as long as you're going somewhere

for days now i've been scattered for thoughts and somehow struggling to piece together my thoughts on moving back to this great city i once again call my home.  actually i've written about four different posts that i wanted to put into my blog and they just seemed so silly to me.  one was even about waterfalls and how delighted it made me feel that at any given moment there are waterfalls all over the world pouring millions of gallons of water and that alone should be something motivating to travel.  every word i typed felt silly indeed and of course it remains in the 'drafts' part of this blog along with dozens of others which have accumulated over time and remain for my eyes only.

it was a recent discovery that seemed to reignite my imagination and smile lines; my inspiration, my passion.  i found an old folder of photos from my days in the south pacific islands of samoa from many years ago that to this day i don't believe i've ever actually seen.  it was like a dream, strange dreams, that i have occasionally which allow me to peer into the soul of a long lost part of my life's memories.

i think everybody faces a time in their life when they confront a version of themselves from the past and they ask what that person would think of the person they have become.  i approached this hesitantly as i'm sure everyone would do.  was i scared that i've taken a wrong turn somewhere?  could it be that somehow my train has gotten off track or perhaps left a long time ago without me?  these are dangerous questions yet i've always been a person who looks boldly into the truth set before himself.

the response took days to come back to me.  the answer, although not the answer i was looking for, was quite profound.  so when i asked 'me from the past' if i'm on the right path he told me something which brought a tiny grin, "your on a path" and that is it.

this really got me thinking that perhaps there is no such thing as a true destiny or a good or bad direction in life however we are simply in a constant momentum that is heading somewhere.  such are the ways of this chaotic universe that does not care for one second if we have achieved our goals because in fact its agenda does not take our desires into consideration.

i looked to the seven years difference between the time these photos were taken and to the person i've become today and i felt rather humbled.  i've never actually met myself or perhaps looked at myself so personally to question whether or not i've been making the right decisions.  it's like having a friend who you never judge because you love them enough to let them make their own choices in life.  whatever it was that i've done in the last long years has happened and now i'm sitting right here.. on a warm summer night with a cool breeze overlooking the great city of istanbul from my apartment window, a city which is saturated with curiosity and wonder.  as i write these words i realize that i am here truly in this moment and i have wandered down a long and prosperous path.  perhaps 'me from the past' would just tell me to keep on going, as long as you're going somewhere.


so here are a few of the photos..