Where to begin? I'm sitting in the basement of my parents' house somewhere near the old entertainment center. I used to play video games here (the same ones I still play, but this is where I experienced them for the first time). Somehow it's my escape from all of this madness that is happening under this room.
My dad is dying. I don't know how to word that better. He's currently in a pre-active coma and cirrhosis has almost completely claimed his life. It's the most confusing thing ever, and it is unreal to even think about. I can't indulge myself by wondering what caused this because I am not sure we will ever find those answers.
My wife, my son and I moved back into this house about a week ago (feels like a year ago) to be with my mom and help take care of my ailing father. Mom and I are taking turns having a very hard time with this, but we are in strong agreement of how to take care of him. He's truly in good hands right now.
Salem gave Pop-pop a blue stegosaurus, and he hasn't let go of it since.
I can tell that mom has been downsizing in this house, but I guess I shrugged it off a bit. It's so empty in here compared to when I was younger. It's like she is getting ready to leave as soon as Dad passes, and I can't say I disagree with her about that. However, I'm sitting here in this dark corner of the basement remembering my childhood as if it were a movie I'll never be able to watch again.
Somewhere inside of me there is a little boy version of myself that is very upset right now. It feels like I've been reading a really beautiful book, but peaked ahead to upcoming chapters and they were all blank, as if this is where my story with my father ends. That is such a painful feeling.
I'm frozen. I'm lost for words.
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