This must be the place

bir lisan bir insan

En Turquía hay una expresión que me encanta.  La expresión es muy linda y lo me hace pensar que el proceso de aprendizaje es algo que tiene una relación con cultura.  Yo creo que la cultura y los idiomas son similares y si quieres aprender una idioma necesitas aprender de la cultura pertinente (did that make sense? writing in Spanish is new for me).  La expresión es 'bir lisan bir insan iki lisan iki insan' y el significado es algo como 'un idioma una persona, dos idiomas dos personas'.  Siempre yo he sentido que la expresión tiene significado para mi vida.

Bueno.  ¿Cómo puede ser que una cultura y un idioma tienen similitudes?  Ahora que estoy aprendiendo español (específicamente sobre español de Centroamérica) yo he llegado a mas preguntas.  ¿Que decimos cuando amamos algo? Decimos 'me encanta' y cuando traducimos en inglés decimos que "this enchants me" cual es algo romántico o poético para nosotros.  Esta forma de aprendizaje es fantástica porque nos dan unas ideas sobre la mentalidad de la gente.

Recuerdo algo de una cultura indígena que yo he visitado.  Yo he oído que usan los tensos de futuro y pretérito y formas inversas.  "Yesterday I will go.. Tomorrow I went" y porque hablan como esto es algo muy interesante.  He oído que ellos creen que la vida es algo no entendimos ciertamente.   Siempre sentimos que estamos caminando adelante y estamos mirando a el futuro pero en esta cultura creen que es imposible a mira el futuro porque solo podemos ver todo que ha pasado detrás de nosotros.

Dos idiomas dos personas.. Es decir que alguien con dos idiomas es alguien que puede vivir en dos vidas, alguien que puede ver la vida de dos perspectivas.  Yo quiero ser un hombre que puede apreciar la vida de todas de las perspectivas.

I'm done.. Brain hurts.. Hope at least some of this came out in passable Spanish ;) 

nos vemos

queridos amigos, para la primera vez voy a escribir en mi blog solamente en español.  entiendo que soy principiante pero en el pasado he aprendido mucho y el tiempo ha llegado que yo necesito mejorar.  voy a explicar un poquito sobre mi proxima viaje.  en dos o tres semanas voy a ir el sur a north carolina para quedar diez dias mas o menos y luego voy a volar a Nicaragua.  yo se que estas pensando y es cierto que ya fui a centro america en el ano 2009 pero estaba un poco perdido en mi vida.. de hecho parece que siempre siento perdido pero aveces necesitamos estar perdido antes de sentir encontrado.

estaba viviendo en turquia por casi seis anos y yo pense que yo iba a quedar por siempre pero la vida es que pasa cuando estas haciendo otros planes.  quizas que este expresion no existe en espanol pero lo es muy pertinente para mi.

soy chris.  tengo 33 anos y soy un profe de ingles internacional. yo trabajaba en muchos paises aveces por muchos anos.  ahora estoy en la casa de mis padres esperando mi proxima aventura.  vida me dio muchos exitos y yo puedo reconocer un bendicion cuando existe lo.

bueno.. siento bien.. vivo bien.. todo bien..  he perdido mucho en el ano pasado pero estamos aqui y nos vemos en el proximo capitulo.

**entiendo que mi espanol es de la mierda pero voy a mejorar.. si tienes algun consejo o quieres ayudarme por favor enviame un correo o comentario mientras que estoy aprendiendo y quiero aprender mucho.  gracias

I'm running wild like a river 
I'm running wild like a river 
Where i'm going je ne sais pas 
So come with me accompagne moi 
You see me, all around the world like wars and crime 
Hustling from the grind to go get what's mine 
I'm travelling on the people breath a lot of sun 
Rendez vous plus tard, I will see you next time 

the first of many goodbyes

today i said goodbye to chucky, a friend from the marina world who has been employing me for some much appreciated side work this summer.  he's a captain, marina manager and old colleague who is one of many people who have not only encouraged me in my travels but provided opportunities to save some cash to get to where i'm going.  i'm so thankful for these people, they are the ones who seem to understand what i'm doing and they get that i have a very different life.  many people respect how unusual my life has come to be and i'm very grateful to those who not only enjoy my stories but promote my travels in any way they can, somehow i think the marina world has a fondness of those who make the choice to be out of touch with the rest of the world.

this morning begins in my best friend's spare room which he has very graciously donated to my wayward misadventures.  he's recently gone through a divorce and although it can be seen as a tragedy i am however thankful that i have someone to commiserate with in this summer of loss and uncertainty.  we hang out in his backyard and drink IPA beers sometimes watching the crazy michigan summer weather perform her tricks in the sky in the forms of clouds or often lightning.  

i drive to work and stop by the 7-11 to visit sal, our excitable indian friend who never remembers our names but rather random details about us.  'when are you going back to france?' he always asks me and it tickles to think about the bits of information people hang onto and how it is often misconstrued.  a friend of mine who is a tattoo artist still believes that where i live i must where a mask on the back of my head to prevent tiger attacks, he even brought that up a few days ago yet has been saying this for years.  i can't help but think about what i seem like to the people of my home state and although i'm often shy or nervous that i'm a weirdo here i do know there are those out there who get it and seem to enjoy my sporadic visits.  it's cool, it reminds me how we are all unique and we each have a different interpretation of what life can be like.  i like the choices i've made and i like that i listened to the voices in my head so long ago that tempted me with adventure from afar.  you can too!  i don't know how else to put that less child-like but you can do whatever you can dream of in this life.  

the marina world is full of characters with nicknames belonging to people whose real names have long been forgotten.  most nicknames are disgusting but fish hasn't ever bothered me.  i'm a fish.  i'm a slippery fish who swims with sharks and eats only seaweed.  i have a poor memory and i don't sleep much.  

where'm i goin?  where'm i goin?  

where're you goin?  

life.  love.  stress.  setbacks.  the perils of this world.  god.. at any second we could be swallowed up and chances are we might never see it coming.  should a fish hide behind the rocks?  not me.. sorry.. i'd rather swim in the deep end than forever assume the view from down here is all this world has to offer.  

humans are very strange creatures yet they, like all other animals, can be understood and may even behave should their surroundings be adequate.  i think all of them, us, wonder whats going on over there on that other side of the river.  the humans who taught us to be strong in this world may not have been the ones we grew up with however the ones we read about in books.  these stories taught us not to be afraid and to feed our curiosities about the world.  the humans here told me it was dangerous out in the world and i listened but left anyway.  i don't regret leaving.  

now here we are.  my good mood and early friday afternoon off work have left me in a good place but i can't promise i'm always so shiny.  my heart is repairing itself from a series of losses and setbacks but fuck it.. the universe cares as little for me as it does for you and the sooner you realize that life is only what you make of it the sooner you can get over your pains and struggle.  it will be the brave ones such as ourselves who write the true adventure stories of this world and we don't stay down low for long.  it's true i've been beside myself this last few months but i'm almost back to myself again and before long i'll be looking south down an open road with a thirst for adventure stronger than ever.  

adventures of the bonobo 2

everything in between

i watched the sunset today on my slow drive home from a friend's house.  it was big and red and fiery and all down the street i caught the eyes of michigan's summer folk taking in its beauty.  it made me sad for some reason, actually many strange things make me sad and i'm not sure why.  i started thinking about life and how temporary our stay on this planet is and i realized that one day i'll be gone.  i'll have moved far away to some strange new place and i'll only be a memory here in this beautiful place where i'm from.  in deeper and darker terms i'll die one day as will all living things and after time even the last memories of me will have faded from existence save a few photos and records of my birth.  i'm not upset about it as i'm quite sure that all people face their own transience one way or another.  i started thinking about what matters most to us people and without a doubt there is nothing greater than love.

maybe i'm lonely.  that's cool.  i'm an only child who grew up in his own imagination and loneliness is something i'm used to.  it makes me creative and introspective.  in so many times in my travels i find myself being silent for days in the company of animals and nature taken aback by the overwhelming beauty of this world which i've been lucky enough to explore.  yet we wanderers choose the lonelier path, as i've been told.

as i drive slowly home where a bag of tortilla chips and locally produced salsa awaits me i start thinking about the future.  i'm alone, fuck it, i'm on a mission and i know it.  this loneliness started giving me ideas about travel.  i know i'm to soon head towards central america, costa rica specifically, yet i hadn't thought much about how i'm to get there.  the easy way would require a 300 dollar plane ticket in which i'd suddenly pop into my location and that seems fine, perhaps that is the likely method of transportation but what about something a little more adventurous.  maybe i'll hit the open road from here and travel by land.  maybe i should see some of this great country which i've so eagerly been in a hurry to leave.  maybe i'll head towards louisiana to visit one of my favorite north american cities which i've never even been to.  maybe i'll get to florida and travel by ship, actually i really have no idea.  it is in this uncertainty that i again find happiness.  i'm bigger than loneliness and sadness.

i'm not so sure i deserve love or am capable of it.  i came really close in this last few years but the universe favors nobody and it was taken from me.  i wasn't sure what to do so i came back to my hometown and blah blah blah it doesn't really matter.  what do i do?  i'm lost and down but not out.  i take to the marina and find a mindless job cleaning boats so i can save money and listen to the insanity in my head.. which slowly comes to pass and i replace it with podcasts in spanish.  the spanish takes me over and i reignite an interest in central america.. then i decide that's where i must be.  i'm strong, hurt yet strong.  i'll find love again, maybe.  maybe i'll wander around on my own forever but whatever happens to me i want it to be known that i loved this world with all of my heart and it is in this love that i find a deeper meaning to life.. i don't only see the sunset i see the entire world shining back at me in the reflection of a great ball of energy which gives us life.

and i wonder, wonder... what's goin' on south of that borderline

when i was a child, i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i reasoned like a child.  when i became a man, i put the ways of childhood behind me.

a few months ago i never imagined i would ever have washed ashore here again.  i'm working at a job i had when i was 23 (and 26.. and 29.. and 31.. and so on..) i'm living on my best friend's guestroom floor and i haven't worn a shirt with sleeves in months.  my work clothes consist of tattered cargo shorts and flip flops.  at night i hang out with faces i have come to love for more than a decade.  reality is that i've been handed, what some might consider to be, a setback in life yet it's not bugging me for some reason.  i'm lost and admittedly uncertain of what's to come next for my curious life but i'm writing this article with a smirk on my chin..

let me explain..

many years ago, and this can be verified by older posts, i began noticing a series of 'callings' in which something was reaching out to me to seek what is waiting to be discovered in the world.  i was younger when this happened and perhaps a little inexperienced in the game of travel.  now i sit a grown man with tiny lines of wisdom etched in the corners of my eyelids.  i'm listening to the sounds of the universe again and i am reminded that my life is unique and i have an obligation to follow this path and this calling as far as it will take me no matter the consequence.

so let's talk business :)  it's no mystery, i'm thinking to go back to a part of the world which i haven't seen in about six years.  i want to go back to a place which is easily forgotten by its neighbors to the north yet mystifies us with its stories of adventure and unknown.

it brings me happiness in a dark time of my life.  i've lost a lot this year.  i don't want to get into it but the realities of this universe have shown themselves to me and i know now that i'm not immune to loss.

the adventures of i, the bonobo.  i have a new take on things and i see that now.  i know that my life is different.  i know that i was born in a strange time and i know that i will one day leave this earth like my friends have.. and will continue to leave.  i want it to be known though that i loved this world.  i believed in people and i'm fascinated by the natural movements of time and life.  go forth and have no fear..

and i'm going to central america..  again :)  wanna come?