i look good in these pants

9th of February, 2015.  somehow this is the first time in a while i've been alone in my silence.  my life has overcomplicated itself only to return again to simplicity and it happened exactly one month before i leave on my next adventure.  i need this silence, not checking my phone nor going outside for a day.  the writer of this blog is a strange man who doesn't see the world through typical eyes.  he's seen it inside out along with the beautiful and the ugly of this planet.  he's careful not to get bitter yet he wears scars from his experiences well.  that's a bit too dramatic.  i dig him though.. we go way back..

so how does one boat-hop through the islands of indonesia?  i'm not sure yet.  in fact, i've tossed my thoughts into the sea and decided not to plan much of anything for this trip.  i'm washing ashore on a beautiful island and hitching rides on long narrow boats to the next.  i want to be near the sea and the though of life aquatic is so exciting to me that i can hardly believe i've been locked on land for so long.  should i eat some fish?  nah.. my inner hippy would frown upon it.

for many years i was very insistent on changing the mentality of the world around me.  i wanted people to break from their shells and explore the world around them.  i tried to shake people and get them to step outside of their comforts and ignore the warnings given to them by idle media sources.  i wanted everyone to see the world like i can and to appreciate their own freedoms which they never knew they had.  i stopped that.  such is the luxury of youthful idealism.  now it's only me.  i rarely tell strangers where i have been in this world and the things i have seen.  if they are interested they will find out for themselves.  furthermore, i stopped arguing with people ignorant about the world.  'don't they hate americans?' 'aren't there terrorists everywhere?' 'what are you looking for?'.  i know deep inside what i have set out to do and the source of my inspiration comes from within me and not from the agenda which my home country bestows upon us.

we are taught to be afraid, to consume and to value our country as the best of god's creation, the providence perhaps.  if you don't believe in evolution, global warming or strict heterosexuality you are not part of this system however part of the problem with america.  you shouldn't make babies with a black person if you are white because your child will have a difficult life.  if you don't accept the correct religion you will go to hell.  you need a retirement plan or you'll rot away in the streets.  if usa does not defend other countries they will fall into despair.. and so on..

so what am i looking for?  i'm looking for a source of where we went wrong as people.  i want to know when life became a matter of rules to follow of which we have no choice.  when did we start believing in sin and evil?  why do we have to be afraid of other people and why can't we just celebrate our differences instead of propagating hatred?

i have theories about this and like most other things i've learned them from people much smarter than myself.  i won't write much about these theories because, as i've said, i no longer care what other people think.  these theories are between me and the ghostwriters who speak to me through literature.  i'll give you a hint: it involves the agricultural revolution.

my blog has been dark lately.  it won't be like that for long.  soon it will be pretty beaches and volcanoes and all of those things which people care about in my writing.  it just seems to me that lately i've been around a lot of negativity.  people give me shit about all kinds of things.  originally i made a list but i've deleted it.  who cares.

you should do yoga.  practice breathing and rock a really cool pair of hippy pants.  it magically transforms you into health and consciousness and often provides us with a bit more aesthetic beauty, who doesn't like that?  can you imagine if everybody practiced consciousness everyday for at least an hour?  there is my dying idealism creaking out.  what would the world be like if we purposefully made it a practice to listen to the sound of our own breath and clear our minds of the poison we absorb from the world and rather filled our hearts with a desire to understand more about what makes us human?  maybe i'm wrong.  maybe just an ageing idealist but i do still have hope for people..

if.. we.. just... let..... go............

so there it is.  make fun of me if you want but there is love to be shared in this world.. and made..  i said 'made' because i'm tickled by this notion of the Bonobo, my favorite primate.  if you're bored you should look into their societal practices and perhaps you too will wonder what would have happened if they led the path of similar ancestor into the modern human and not the chimp.  i'm dumbing these comments down because people still think that a belief in evolution suggests the great apes somehow transformed into humans.  read a book before you know what you're arguing against.. and read about the Bonobo, they have a cool way of resolving differences with members of other clans.

so yeah.. one month later beaches and volcanoes.. woo hoo!  and head hunters.. and tribes and tattooed naked people.. more on that later.

smile at a stranger today.