Sunday, May 14, 2017

a hero named homer and a devil named burns

It's been quite a few months since I've written and even now as the keyboard rests under my fingers I feel an instant familiarity calling me to let the words do the speaking for themselves.  

Today is Sunday, Mothers' Day actually, and I'm home on the couch in my parents' living rooming doing what I always do in the early days before leaving on another travel.  I'm rifling through old photos and blog posts from times passed and reliving some really good memories I have from the road.  I love world travel and I almost equally love introspective journeys into my own mind as I see no limits to the world inside.  Perhaps this is the spirit world, a place where aspects of our personality bear curious resemblance to certain traits that have been passed on to us by our ancestors and perhaps even furthermore the spirits of our past do indeed reside within us guiding us through this very dangerous world.

..and as I write this my beautiful mother, dressed in her mother's jacket, heads to the cemetery to visit Grandma's grave. 

Something wakes up inside of me when I'm about to take an adventure.  I feel this deep connection to what I call 'the now' and it occurs to me that we are truly only capable of understanding what this exact moment means to us.  The future seems to us like a big mystery, as it rightfully can take everything away from us while rebuilding a different living future for another.   The past may never have even happened as we remember yet the only certainty is 'the now'.  

I feel connected to 'the now' when I travel and I think that is what has permitted my ability to continue traveling so extensively for over a decade.  There was a time only two years ago when I was completely certain of what the future held for me and in that certainty I almost considered hanging up my travel hat for a while perhaps to start something new in life yet as I've finally come to learn from life the future is a calamitous thing and like the changing winds above the sea we can easily be blown off course.

yet it is the sea which calls me.... now

During this visit home, a visit which was purposefully planned around a brief yet intense bout of work at various local marinas, I gave some deep consideration to where I see myself in this strange world and suddenly I begged the examination of an all too familiar questions, 'what do you do?'.

I wondered why we ask people this question and what we really mean by it when we ask ,'so what do you do?'.  I think the obvious answer to the question come by saying your occupation or student status, that is to say 'I am an engineer' or 'I'm a sophomore'.  The question is actually, to me, begging a deeper answer in which I vary my responses accordingly, 'I double dip' or 'I leave the seat down because I'm a gentleman'.  Somehow I don't find people satisfied with my answer and they ask again, 'no but really what do you do?' to which I realize they want to know how I make money.

That's just money.  It doesn't really exist and neither does the question.. otherwise my admitting to being a double-dipper is in vain.

I'll be in Guatemala in a few days back with my awesome girlfriend, some awesome permaculture folks and furry cat friends.  I get to paint again.  I had time to paint when I was here but I felt no inspiration yet rather introspection.  This next chapter is going to be a wild one so stay tuned if you like my story, I sure love it.

..and I'm gonna sail the Caribbean.. I guess that was more important than ramblings.  More on that later..

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