Hi there, Salem
This post is directly to you.
It's a rainy day, and it seems it's always a rainy day when I find myself a minute for a quiet thought. I can't say I've been busy in the way that most people find themselves busy, but my brain is so occupied sometimes that I forget to live in the moment. My life is actually a wonderful blessing no matter how you look at it. In this blessing of a day, I find myself alone with your mom upstairs while you are spending the night at Grandma's. Mom is drawing pictures in a dimly lit corner, and I've just come inside from working out in the garage.
I miss you. I was just watching some old videos of you, and it's obvious that you've changed so much in such a short amount of time. You're a curious and thoughtful boy. You're creative, and you can make something fun out of any situation. I love playing with you. We play like I remember playing as a little kid; "you're a dinosaur, okay now you're a fast car!" We chase each other around the front yard with mom and Chibi playing in the garden as the fireflies begin to dance their beautiful patterns. This is my life. You gave me this life, and gosh, I really don't deserve it. Thunder struck as I wrote that. Maybe I just noticed it that time, but Salem, I hope it's no secret that I'm not perfect. Nobody has to pretend to be perfect in this house, and as long as I am around I want you to know that I'm a safe place. You can talk to me, and no matter how old we are I will always be your dad and you my little boy (my big boy).
You're almost three years old. That's so cool! I can't believe I have a three-year-old dude to hang out with. You're just about the age of your first bicycle, maybe a soccer team, maybe a swim class. I love this so much, and even writing these words makes me wish you were back home today. I hope you have fun tonight, my dude. You are my home. Your heart and my heart are very old friends.
Dad
