Wednesday, March 18, 2015


albeit a sailor may not be trusted with money and fortune they are true to their word on punctuality.  when you are generously offered a lift on a ship it is with great importance that you arrive on time if not early, sitting by the port, backpack in lap with stupid look on your face awkwardly fending off the local hawkers trying to sell you jewelry and sarongs.

'no more tourism' i think to myself as i leave gili air.  im glad i took a week here to find myself because i wasnt in the best of conditions when i came.  i was still getting over a 39 hour flight and a sunburn this last few days but i feel good and ready to take on this wonderful country.

i like Linus.  i've always seen myself in old sailors.  i feel their loss somehow, their inability to fit in with the rest of the world.  they don't follow the same rules as other folk and their faces reflect their travels.  they get me too.  for some reason they support my travels, my misadventures.  when i was young it was my dream to sit at the same table with hardened travelers, people who have seen the world.  i'm not sure why they take to me, maybe a younger version of themselves who was more fortunate, maybe they like my tattoos, maybe they just want to talk endlessly about their travels to someone who will listen.

right now im deckside of a ship that i promised to not forget the name of yet did.  my eyes are pulled back and forth between my journal and the scenery around me.  somehow indonesia is always in perfect weather when on land yet foggy and mysterious when viewed from the sea.  i'm headed for komodo, a land that called me simply because of a child-like obsession with its native creature, the dragon who can kill a buffalo six times its size with a single bite.  i opted out of the tourist path.  i chose not the fixed package of fast ship and planned meals yet i wanted to travel by means of uncertainty and circumstance, two things which govern the rules of not only life itself yet love.. are they not the same?

i'll find a way to publish this when i arrive but for now im left in astonishment how this world can exist on our same globe yet we never check out this corner of the map unless we are planning a two week holiday in bali.  crazy world out there, it'll tear your spine out of your back if you're not careful.

i feel strange.  i feel the same breath of otherworldly misadventure that greeted me so many times in my past.  what am i doing here? anywhere?  why is it that childhood depression and a thirst for exploration have crossed lines in my life?  i have this flashback of playing at the jungle gym behind my elementary school and pretending to be on the back of a great airship bound for unknown lands far far away.  i would not have survived this life had i not discovered an insatiable desire to see it flipped upside down.  yet i made it.  i'm going somewhere and when i land i'll again be forgotten, like Linus, this man who the world wouldn't bleed for.

i get it, brother.  keep searching for whatever it is that calls you.  most of our dreams don't come true anyway, that's why i never had them.. dreaming is for people who wish they were somewhere else, i don't dream life away i pursue it the best i can :) some people get you.. i do at least.

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