Friday, August 7, 2015

the first of many goodbyes

today i said goodbye to chucky, a friend from the marina world who has been employing me for some much appreciated side work this summer.  he's a captain, marina manager and old colleague who is one of many people who have not only encouraged me in my travels but provided opportunities to save some cash to get to where i'm going.  i'm so thankful for these people, they are the ones who seem to understand what i'm doing and they get that i have a very different life.  many people respect how unusual my life has come to be and i'm very grateful to those who not only enjoy my stories but promote my travels in any way they can, somehow i think the marina world has a fondness of those who make the choice to be out of touch with the rest of the world.

this morning begins in my best friend's spare room which he has very graciously donated to my wayward misadventures.  he's recently gone through a divorce and although it can be seen as a tragedy i am however thankful that i have someone to commiserate with in this summer of loss and uncertainty.  we hang out in his backyard and drink IPA beers sometimes watching the crazy michigan summer weather perform her tricks in the sky in the forms of clouds or often lightning.  

i drive to work and stop by the 7-11 to visit sal, our excitable indian friend who never remembers our names but rather random details about us.  'when are you going back to france?' he always asks me and it tickles to think about the bits of information people hang onto and how it is often misconstrued.  a friend of mine who is a tattoo artist still believes that where i live i must where a mask on the back of my head to prevent tiger attacks, he even brought that up a few days ago yet has been saying this for years.  i can't help but think about what i seem like to the people of my home state and although i'm often shy or nervous that i'm a weirdo here i do know there are those out there who get it and seem to enjoy my sporadic visits.  it's cool, it reminds me how we are all unique and we each have a different interpretation of what life can be like.  i like the choices i've made and i like that i listened to the voices in my head so long ago that tempted me with adventure from afar.  you can too!  i don't know how else to put that less child-like but you can do whatever you can dream of in this life.  

the marina world is full of characters with nicknames belonging to people whose real names have long been forgotten.  most nicknames are disgusting but fish hasn't ever bothered me.  i'm a fish.  i'm a slippery fish who swims with sharks and eats only seaweed.  i have a poor memory and i don't sleep much.  

where'm i goin?  where'm i goin?  

where're you goin?  

life.  love.  stress.  setbacks.  the perils of this world.  god.. at any second we could be swallowed up and chances are we might never see it coming.  should a fish hide behind the rocks?  not me.. sorry.. i'd rather swim in the deep end than forever assume the view from down here is all this world has to offer.  

humans are very strange creatures yet they, like all other animals, can be understood and may even behave should their surroundings be adequate.  i think all of them, us, wonder whats going on over there on that other side of the river.  the humans who taught us to be strong in this world may not have been the ones we grew up with however the ones we read about in books.  these stories taught us not to be afraid and to feed our curiosities about the world.  the humans here told me it was dangerous out in the world and i listened but left anyway.  i don't regret leaving.  

now here we are.  my good mood and early friday afternoon off work have left me in a good place but i can't promise i'm always so shiny.  my heart is repairing itself from a series of losses and setbacks but fuck it.. the universe cares as little for me as it does for you and the sooner you realize that life is only what you make of it the sooner you can get over your pains and struggle.  it will be the brave ones such as ourselves who write the true adventure stories of this world and we don't stay down low for long.  it's true i've been beside myself this last few months but i'm almost back to myself again and before long i'll be looking south down an open road with a thirst for adventure stronger than ever.  

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