Wednesday, December 24, 2014


i woke up at about 12:40 today.  my house is a mess and proudly displays signs of last night's madness as we celebrated an early christmas together with other ex-pats who are stuck here for the holiday.  last night was exceptionally funny in the heart of doing stupid things that haven't really changed much since i was about fifteen years old.  in my living room there is a broken table where i can almost re-watch myself throwing my friend tom into last night and tiny flakes of ashes from a mcdonald's paper bag remaining from when marco tried to light tom on fire.  poor tom.

in this destruction i think we all felt the sentiment of a great era coming to an end, going out with a bang so to speak.  i'll spend new years in the company of good people and toast to one of the best years of my life.  i'm not even sure how to quantify a great year but this one has taken me to a very strange corner of the earth called madagascar which i never in thirty two years ever imagined i would wash ashore.  ez lisnin, which started in 2013, came into full effect this year and i spend my free time being up all night with like-minded individuals who entertain each other with bizarre sound effects and beeps and clicks.

i tote an obnoxiously long green military looking jacket and don a winter hat and slippers, looking like a bum really, and walk out into the world unshowered only to realize today is far too warm to be dressed like this.  it's ok, i'm only on my way to the manav (it means something a deli in english) and sift throw brands of organic orange and pineapple juices.  the recovery begins.  i'm back in my apartment halfway through cleaning and listening to loud hip hop mixed with ez lisnin tracks that i've made this week.  i can feel the shedding of last night's madness turning into the light of a new day, perhaps a new era.  i feel so good right now.  i laughed so hard last night that i actually fell asleep with a smile on my face.  many people take for granted the joy of self-destruction once in a while but it's good for you.  now i'm excited about health and vegetables again, yoga and buddhism; last night was a step away from my path or perhaps a step closer.

i'm watching the last days of this great year come to an end and i fear not the future.  i've learned too much in my short time on earth to worry about what is to come next.  i like getting older and in some ways i like where this world is heading.  i'm excited about life and i don't see anything wrong with following the beat of my own drum.  this is the life i chose and it's working out just fine yet i can't help but wonder what holds people down into their own unhappiness.  i get sad all the time, i've battled a seemingly underestimated depression my whole life but i've learned to channel my depression into energy.  i hope other people can do that too, i hate thinking that others feel the sadness i once felt.

2015 will take me far and wide.  who knows what is to come next?  i see islands and beaches and boats whereas i've gotten a taste of the ocean and the sea last summer and i want more.  i'll speak further about this later, for now i have a broken table to repair.  merry christmas!

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