Doubt

 In the past I had always boldly sworn that uncertainty and doubt were old friends of mine.  I used to think that the subtle loom of worry and the creeping anxiety were sign of something great to come, not fear of an undesirable outcome.  This type of uncertainty makes our heads spin if we let it so these days I'm trying to keep it together and so far doing fairly well.  My arm is pretty busted though, I was hoping by now to have been typing with both hands.

As of now I have only just started looking into this new path I'm on, maybe I'll be esoteric about it and maybe somebody still reads this blog and gets what I am talking about.  Something huge is in the air and it feels like a massive change.  It is not only globally but each of us individually, no doubt, I see it all over my friends and my strangers.  I thought my arm would be better by now and I thought I'd feel courageous enough to begin asking for advice about my path but these things take time.  It's okay to stay up late looking at the snow and wondering if it were ever sunny outside.  My son is loving this time I am blessed to spend with him and it is truly through him that I have reawakened.  I feel like my body has just been pulled from the matrix and I'm trying to get feeling back in my limbs fast enough to grab my family and escape from this burning rock.  That's perhaps too dramatic.

Focus man.  Keep your head up, way up.  The tingling in my arm and numbness in my hand will pass, it has already started doing so, and soon you will see things more clearly.  I know that.  I'm only human but I plan to be an awesome one, you should expect no less for yourself.