12,090 AD

sometimes i think it is the year 12,090 AD.  ever since i was very young this number has always been specific for me and the reason is actually kind of funny.  i was (and still am) a huge anime fan and among my favorites is the film Vampire Hunter D which takes place in the year 12,090 AD.  i remember hearing that number for the first time and thinking how strange it was that little has changed in some ten thousand years from the time of my own existence.  still it rocks my mind that i have come so far in thirty two short years on earth and sometimes i can't help but wonder what will come next for me.

if you live for thirty two years chances are that you will see the coming and unfortunately the passing of people you are close to.  this seems to be the age when life kicks into full gear.  the friends who have had babies now have young people in their houses who can speak and retain information as good as you or i.  somethings worked out for the better and some did not.  some people went on to prosper and sadly a small few have ended their lives before they had a chance to blossom.

so sometimes i think, 'why me?'.  why did i become the one who ran away?  i think the answer for that lies in my imagination that never went away with adulthood.  in my head it is the year 12,090 AD and i'm a vampire hunter.  i'm the well-drawn picture of a single anime frame with the pause button pressed while a seven year old version of myself draws everything on the screen.  i'm the cover of a 1980's video game whose graphics are better in the cover art than in the actual game.  i spent years telling everybody that i was going to run away and eventually that is exactly what i did.

now i want to think about the future.  i want to think about death, aging and the crippling illnesses which flip like a coin of fate to all of us.  the buddha was exposed to the same three things and the shock of life's inevitable outcome drove him to some six years of soul searching until one day he realized that it is our own desire which causes such suffering.  we can learn a lot from the buddha and as a side note i have made it one of my life goals to not let his teachings be forgotten.

so what happens as our bodies fall apart?  we look in the mirror and see a grey hair or a wrinkle on our face and the first signs of our bodies' decay become clear to us.  there is no need to worry about this, at least as far as i've learned.  the secret to happiness is transience and the recognition that life is only temporary.  somehow i have survived thus far even at times in the wake of misfortunate events which could have taken their turns for the worst.  i'm not afraid of death, in fact sometimes i imagine my last words to pass through my mind to be something like, 'oh, so that's how my story ends.' and i think the peace i've made with life is part of my content with fate.  many people cling to their beliefs in god or an afterlife perhaps out of fear that their temporariness in life would go without reason yet i don't really believe we are anything more than star dust floating in the cosmos.  for now i want to see some of this interesting world and learn more about the upright bipedal apes who are among my species.  i want to find out why some foods are palatable to one culture yet are found repulsive to others.  i want to see again and again what the stars look like in the southern hemisphere, i'm still tickled by that perspective every time.  sometimes i even want to shake the person next to me and say, 'do you not realize!?  you are made of stars!' yet i know that i stole that quote from a mind much brighter than my own.

somehow in this vast oblivion we have made it to the year 12,090 AD or 2014 AD or whatever number you choose to identify with.  we are the survivors of a cruel world and i don't see anything wrong with indulging in our lusts to explore this planet to its fullest while it is still green and blue and while there are still wild animals and indigenous people wandering about.  the world as we know it is changing and i've seen with my own eyes the devastation we are inflicting upon our planet.  believe it or not we are part of the problem and i want to take the world in for some of its beauty before its too late.

pneumonia

turns out that i would be sick for a small yet noticeable percent of 2014.  this summer i fought a nasty conflict with dengue fever and in the dawn of november i'm watching the last hints of pneumonia leave my body.  this recent bout of illness came to me unfortunately during a moment of great inspiration when i was making music every moment of the day that i was not at work or asleep, and i rarely do either of those things.  i've worked out a very unique niche for myself in this city and i've managed to save money while harboring time to work on my creative impulses and at the same time i'm always wondering what will be my next big adventure.

pneumonia sucks.  i'm not stricken for vocabulary however sometimes i think the word 'sucks' really describes being sick.  if you read back far enough in this blog i'm sure i said the same thing about dengue fever.  i didn't write this article today to scare people back home (and i swear i'm about 90 percent better) but i'm writing this as a note to myself to remember this time that i came out of something ugly again as something new and beautiful.  i'm watching creativity return to me and i'm also witnessing the first tangible ideas of my next travel come into the light.  it's too soon to give hints away but i'm again island bound, this time for the other end of an ocean i've recently fallen in love with.

i'll actually be done with my contract on march 7th, the day before my 33rd birthday, the Jesus year i like to think of it as.  in these years i've become really good at things which i once only dreamed of.  today, travel has become to me something i'm perfecting in the way that an amateur painter becomes a great artist.  i found what i'm good at in this world and i've put in the hours to support it.

my coughing has stopped and the pains in my right lung have receded.  i have a zest for creativity and soon i'll be sitting in front of numbers and colors with my band again trying to turn our ideas into sound.  inshallah.

screw it.  i'll say it.  i'm going island hopping in indonesia.  i spilled the beans.  :) 

an evening with EZ lisnin - by Anas Alnajjar

 

some drink coffee some drink tea

i've wanted to write about living and growing up in different cultures for a long time but i've been tentative on the subject because in the past i had never felt as if i truly knew enough about other cultures to touch on the subject.  now i feel that the time has come that i've lived in turkey long enough to at least have one other strong point of view that i could make some comparisons to my own culture.  there are many similarities and of course incredible differences between growing up in turkey and growing up in the united states and although i have been in istanbul (on and off) for about five years i want to see where some unrehearsed writing will take me on the subject.

i first want to note that turkey can be safely termed a bit more of a homogeneous country than the united states because americans, north and south, are primarily descendants of immigrants and the majority of turkish people, here in istanbul at least, are descendants of mostly turks.  most turks are not born in istanbul yet they have come to the city from other parts of turkey.  the different regions in turkey are numerous and quite different yet they all carry very strong inherent values that are on the hearts of all turkish people.  some examples of this begin with muslim values and customs even that are relative to how people should expect to be treated.  compared to other religions, muslims have a great regard for hygiene especially for the hands.  they rarely touch food and almost never use their left hands.  they remove their shoes upon the entry of a house so as to leave the filth of the outside world at the doorstep.  the house is sacred.  turkish houses are remarkably clean and slippers are sometimes provided for guests to be comfortable.  turkish culture is famously hospitable and guests are held to a high regard, thus being in accordance to words from the Qur'an which promote selflessness and the humility towards others.

muslims practice ramadan and a religious holiday of kurban bayramı (this is the turkish name, i'm not sure in other languages).  in both of these holidays they are called to acknowledge the poor and misfortunate by practices of fasting and the sacrifice of an animal whose meat is shared with first the homeless and then with neighbors.  muslims are called to pray five times a day thus giving 1/24 of their day to Allah.  there is a notion which i have observed in islam that Allah has called on us to give similar fractions of our being to Allah such as the month of ramadan being 1/13 of the year's commitment and so on.  it can be simply put that if we have a total of something we should give one portion of that towards Allah and thus it keeps us humble and discipline.

turks grow up like this.  some adhere to the teachings of islam more conservatively than others yet turkey has been created in the teachings of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk who believed that the republic was a foundation for all turkish people and turks should respect the beliefs of others. in a few symbolic examples, some drink alcohol and some do not.  some smoke cigarettes or nargile and some do not.  the turkish people have also been raised with tolerance even among the heavily political times which have essentially never seen silence since the formation of the republic in 1923.

that being said i can think deeper upon the lives of my turkish friends and wonder what it was like for them growing up.  much value is placed on the family and people often stay in the house they grew up in until they are married with the often exemptions of university and military service (to the best of my knowledge, six months if you go to university and fifteen months if you don't go to university).  some of my friends have gotten apartments and others must still call to check in with their parents and have curfews even though they are my age.

turkish people also wear uniforms to school and have a standardized and difficult exam which will, in some ways, determine their future careers and university options.  there are two types of school, devlet and özel, one which you must pay for and the other which is free (devlet is 'state' in english and özel is 'private' yet i'm not sure which one has no tuition, probably devlet).  i think there is a lot of pressure on young turkish people for their paths of education and employment because the job market is very tight.  many jobs require a long payless time of intership where they work long hours even on saturdays sometimes.

this was a brief outline of turkish culture yet i cannot even begin to write about the vastness that i have learned in the last five years, it is simply too much to write about.

on a side note, i really don't know anymore the demographic which reads this blog.  i receive random insights from people of all over the world and on that note i urge people to reflect deeply about the cultures which they come from.

i wonder what it was like to grow up in other countries.  i can think endlessly about my culture and what it was like to be an american of mixed european descendance.  i have a strong memory of my youth and it is greatly accredited to the stories which have accumulated over the years.  these come from many sources like my family, friends and school life.  i wasn't really much of a trouble maker but i was always very close to that edge.  i hung out with people with absolutely no judgement of their upbringing and this mix of people and cultures has lead to so many interesting things that have happened to me in my life.  no examples are necessary.

american culture raises children in the wake of patriotism.  the united states was founded by a long series of successful and unsuccessful wars in the value of freedom.  i don't write of politics so i won't express my opinion on the previous statement but i have them and they are strong.  american children, for the most part grow up in the suburbs.  they have houses instead of apartments and have lawns of grass in front of their houses.  most americans drive cars and they are given their licenses at the age of sixteen in most states.  they don't all eat fast food but they do have ready access to it.  food is noticeably bigger in portion.  some drink coffee some drink tea.

it is tempting not to call the united states conservative yet the country was founded, as is run by, christians.  christians believe in God and place a great value on the ten commandments which are the foundation of the legal system.  the word's 'In God We Trust' are written on the currency and even though the people of the united states are of mixed religion and culture, the country is essentially built in a christian framework.  americans are raised with the values of security and hard work.  the adult american is to be self sustaining and it is frowned upon to stay with the family beyond the mid twenties.  they work at younger ages than many countries yet feel a pride in their independent upbringing.

americans date at earlier ages (i think).  they binge drink at parties yet don't smoke cigarettes nearly as much as many other places i've seen.  they invented a wide range of music that has affected the entire world and have produced many innovations towards technology.  they grow up in cliques of sort and dress in ways of self-expression or perhaps rebellion.  these are a few of the many things written on the hearts of american people.



i have been blessed to see many different cultures.  it really never stops amazing me how different this world is.  i've had my reservations about the notion that people are the same everywhere, i don't know if i can really support that belief.  your culture incubates you during your upbringing and writes upon your heart values which you never really knew existed.  it is only in the way of travel and experience in other cultures that we truly see how different we are.  yet we can find home in other places.  it is possible for us to assimilate in other regions of the world because albeit we are different we are still humans and we have all started our walks down our own paths through life.

English Time - Level 2 Weekday AM

 

 

the sky opens up and pours light down on you

in an early morning conversation with a good friend and traveler earlier this year i was told that 'the sky opens up and pours light down on me'.  it was an amazing phrase that i've never heard before and to this day i'm beautifully haunted by those kind yet strange words.  i've had a fascination with the sky for a long time now which is greatly accredited to a weekend long ayauasca trip i took in peru a few years ago as well as an old party trick my friends and i used to do in lake michigan where we would shout slanderous yet comical curses to the sky as if it were responsible for the wrong doings of all humans.  yet the sky usually remains silent.

sometimes i wonder how i've become the person i am today.  i do believe somewhere in here that i have a good heart yet i don't necessarily believe in good and evil.  long ago i took a serious contemplation of the word 'taboo' and i reconsidered what i believed to be acceptable for humans.  in fact i'm intrigued by the taboo and sometimes i do things because i believe other people are too cowardly to follow those paths.  this comes in the form of running away to a different country, which is simple, and it comes in other forms of things i wish i could write about in public.  i think the most admirable of all people are the brave and for the brave people who challenge destiny (or perhaps do not believe in it) we are rewarded with the gift of sight.

the world is actually quite mysterious to some.  so many people question why we are here or if there is a god.  others question about how things came to be yet i don't bother myself with these questions anymore.  perhaps this is the buddhist in me that believes in transience; i watch these meaningless thoughts pass as i do all other thoughts.  not long ago i was feeling lost yet this morning of all recent mornings i have never felt more 'found'.

i had a dream last night about a friend who knows me better that some people who have known me for years.  a very special person who vanished before their time.  she left this place too early and her smile still haunts me.  we are all tied to each other, us humans, and we connect in ways that have no name yet we find answers to questions we never knew.  humans are animals yet we are social animals.  we learn about the world around us from our interactions with each other.  i don't regret any interaction i've had with any human be it good or bad, they are each a stitch of a very delicate tapestry that binds itself together with experience and love.

i woke up with this version of this song in my head:



pay attention to the sky today, there are wandering clouds among us.

meet me there

it must be october.  somehow from that deeply rooted southeast Michigan upbringing i can tell that the seasons are changing.  change is good, i accept change and this is the time of year for me that i become introspective and focus my energy more locally.  winter has not yet fallen and i have not taken to daydreams about how i'm going to make my escape from this place in the way that i do every year.  actually i don't even know what i'm going to do next.

i call this 'stewing'.  it is my time to gather ingredients that i've collected from other travelers and i am going to toss these into a slow simmering stew in my brain to see what delicious adventures i can think up next. 

honestly though i have no idea.  i toyed with the idea of going to ireland for a while.  i would love to see the island which produces some of my favorite folk music.  i haven't completely rejected the idea but somehow i feel a calling to continue traveling to far off locations that people usually only hear of in national geographic articles.  there is something very appealing to me to be able to wander so far and i'd like to believe that i've gotten good at it.  i do hear a tiny hum of a voice in my head telling me to go back to the south pacific.  i can save my coins for the next few months and jump on a series of well-planned yet cheap flights and make my way to indonesia and then perhaps papua new guinea.  that just sounds incredible.  however these are only ideas right now and admittedly my life is on the boring side compared to previous months of backpacking an exotic and strange island.

these days i'm making music.  i've tapped into a part of my deep consciousness that is accessible only through long hours of repetitive sounds and occasional chemical recreation.  i have this band now called EZ lisnin.  i won't say much more about the project but i will say that i absolutely love playing music with these guys, i wish we had more time.

for now i'm going back into hiding.  i probably wont post much in this blog because i don't think anyone cares about my writing unless i'm somewhere far away.  granted i am far away right now.. and that leaves me with a final sentiment that i always seem to forget. it always passes my mind that i live in a different country with a different language with a different culture.  i have gotten so used to being here that it is easy to forget how fortunate i am.  perhaps in the future i should write more about my life here but for now i believe i'm going to be in hiding for a while.