Saturday, February 9, 2013


sometimes i wonder if this world is ours to travel or if we are just living in a time that is something like a fluke of technology.  it's amazing to me that we have been around for millions of years yet only perhaps the last seventy or so have permitted us to wander so freely in strange patterns around the globe.  i've come so far.  i've seen both sides of the fishbowl and i've learned so much about what calls to me.  yet i dont know what it is that causes me such sadness at times.

it is a strange sadness.  it is no emptiness nor longing however some sort of melancholy like when one hears a beautiful song or sees the perfect sunset.  whatever it is, it's deep inside of me and it gives me that strange peacefulness of forever being comfortable with my sadness.  perhaps it is just familiar to me and like a hunger it pushes me to explore the world endlessly.

the world is pretty cool.  it's really big too.  however often i say it, it's nice to remind myself, 'peopel who say it is a small world live in a small world'.  i truly believe that we draw our connections to a minimal scale in order to make sense of them.  by viewing the world as a small place it seems to become palatable to us.  in fact there is so much beauty in the world that if we were to take it in too much we would be overburdened with sadness.. i think i just figured out my own problem.

the world is indeed a living organism (for we have few other things to compare it to).  long ago a dear friend of mine proposed an idea of a collective conciousness and although i never understood it i did not dismiss it as a possibility.  i liked the idea but perhaps i was too young and too selfish to see things this way.  i've made my own theories for how this could be but i still find it dificult to explain.  this is something i rather keep to myself and smile when i feel the parralels that embrace the planet.

can we feel the pain of others?  i've always felt that even though i dont personally believe in a higher power in any conventional sense, i do still believe in righteousness.  i do believe we have a responsibility as a species to be good to our planet and to each other as any divine power would surely be disappointed with the mess we've made.  i believe that if you steal then you have stolen from everybody and if you kill then you have made all people suffer.  i believe this is so because we are a collection of all acts of mankind both good and bad and it is our responsibility to improve ourselves and be good examples of people.

having said all of this, the eyes which i view my world around me are from those of a traveler.  i have visited many different countries and very obscure corners of the earth.  what i have learned is massive and sometimes i think my soul will explode if i ever try to cage the secrets of the earth which i have stumbled upon.

i've got a very cool trip coming up and i'd like to share a sneak preview into the next few months of my life.  i'm off to travel the western slice of this great continent i have washed ashore upon and i couldn't be more excited.  i'm in the middle of a (seemingly) long waiting period for my day to arrive when i will pack alice and leave this city.  i love it here but my feet are itchy.  i'll be back in a few months to the first city i've called home and my soul is aching to see the faces of my oldest and dearest friends.  i need their energy which they fill me with because i have this feeling deep down that somehow things are soon to reach a new level of conciousness and travel for me.. i'm going to the mother land..

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