Home is wherever I'm with you

Hi Salem,

There's been so much going on lately that I had to take a minute to write to you (who is reading this far in the future. I hope it's a beautiful place there and then). I'm growing professionally and finding better ways to improve myself in the academic world. I hope you think that's cool someday. For a long time, your dad was a teacher who traveled around the world teaching people English. However, he went a different path for a short while and it wasn't until earlier this year that he found his passion again.

I feel that this is settled now and I can officially begin to live in the present a bit more. Sometimes I struggle with that. I watch you change and grow every day, and I know that time is just flying by like leaves blowing in the wind, but I am here and this is now and there is nothing else that I am more certain of. When I am conscious of "when" I am, then I can become more conscious of "where" I am, and I know exactly where I am when I'm with you. I'm home.

Your mother and I used to travel extensively. We've both spent time abroad and your father used to live in several different countries. We've often wondered what it would be like when you came around, and I was very shocked by what happened. You see, the moment you were born I felt this sudden rebirth in my own life. It seemed like nothing before that moment had ever even mattered. Just 'poof!', a cloud in the distance. My travels were like stories that I read in books, somehow not truly my own experiences. My real story began the day you came into this world, and now it feels like I am seeing everything for the first time.

So, because of this we travel slowly, and we are starting from the beginning. We go on adventures that are in our home state, or even stay at hotels with pools where you run wildly down the oddly-carpeted hallways. It's actually tons of fun, and I love watching you see things through your new and beautiful eyes. If everything goes well, I'd love to take you out west next year and show you how vastly dynamic this country can be.

Salem, I'm just really happy and grateful to be your dad. Thank you for being my little boy. I love these years with you and even though I know life is just an adventure, it has no sense of home without you. You are my everything and I hope one day you realize just how much you've done for me.

Your first travel buddy,

Dad

Bobcat!

Hi Salem,

I have no idea where this started, but for some reason we have this thing in our house where one person calls 'bobcat!' and everyone else yells back 'bobcat!' in return. I don't know who came up with it, but it's super cute when you call us the three bobcats. This might not last forever, so I had to write it down.

Your dad loves you so much

T-Rex

Good morning, Salem I found a little bit of time to write before leaving on a flight to Seattle today. It's crazy how free time is such a luxury these day, but even as it becomes available to me, my thoughts immediately turn to my beautiful son. I miss you already, and I won't see you for a few days. It's so much fun being your dad. 

Anyway, I was thinking about something this morning, and I had to make sure that I wrote it down. I guess I wanted you to know that as a dad I've learned a lot of lessons, but one has stuck out in my mind the most. Before you become a dad you have this belief that you will have everything figured out by the time you have kids. You just assume that everything will have resolved itself somehow, but I have learned that this might be impossible in even a lifetime. There are simply things I'll never understand, and it scares me to think that I might fail at my responsibility to protect you from the scary things. 

I'm looking at your dinosaur toys next to the screen and it reminds me of how brave you are. You were once afraid of T-Rex, but it didn't last long at all. In fact, you quickly became excited to face your fears with that terrible lizard. Now you guys are friends, and you play together all the time. 

I'm trying to do the same in my life, but the moment you came into this world I became aware of how many fears I've never faced before. I really just wanted to let you know that my journey seems to have just begun, and it's with gratitude I am sharing this new journey with you. I'll try my best to face those terrible lizards in my life, but I know I'll be fine because I have a really good son to inspire and teach me.

My Hobbit

Happy Halloween Salem!

So, just two short days ago you got to see your first real Halloween. Last year was a bit slow because of COVID and all that, but this year was truly something special. I loved watching your face light up to see all the costumes, especially the dinosaurs, as they came passing by our house. We went trick-or-treating too and it was really fun!

I wanted to take a minute from this day (any given Wednesday) and just say 'hi' to you. You're growing so fast, my guy. I can't even keep track of how quickly you're learning to speak in full sentences. I thought I'd be able to grab hold of these things and document all of it, but you're faster than I can keep up with! I'm so proud of you, my sweet boy. You really make this journey awesome.

Salem, your dad used to wander all around the world. When I look back on this now it seems like a story, but this is a story that I would like to share with you. There are certain things I'm good at and others which I am not, but one thing I have learned well is how to travel. The world is an endlessly interesting place, and to my mom (your grandmother) it was like a big unknown place that kept her worried about me day and night. I feel that now, but I promise I'll be supportive if you ever feel the need to travel very far away. Even though the thought of being away from you pains my heart, I know that one day you'll need to find you're own way through this world, and I want you to know you will always have my love and support to take with you wherever you may go.

Sometimes I think back on my life and realize that I've been a lot of different people. This guy who you get to know now is, in many ways, very different than a person he used to be. I have learned a lot, but it seems like the more I learn, the more I realize how much more there is to take in from this worldly experience called life. I mean, I can't lie to you.. I found exactly what I was looking for in this life the moment you were born. I knew deep inside myself that this was the happiest I would ever feel, and to this day I have never changed that level of happiness one bit. I wake up every day excited to be part of your world, and every night before we fall asleep I whisper to myself a few words of thanks. I hope you learn that gratitude one day, and I hope you never forget where it comes from. 

I love you dude,

Dad

I Can Do It

Hi Salem,

It's cold in this garage. The fall always feels mysterious to me, and today was especially surreal for some reason. I was driving home from dropping you off at your grandparents' house when I decided to pull over and listen to some music while staring at the colorful leaves. It was a song called Roads by Portishead. Maybe you can hunt it down someday. That song is something else. 

I was thinking of you while I was driving the long way home. A few nights ago we were laying in your bed reading an Eric Carle book that repeatedly asked the question, "can you do it?" You learned quickly how to shout back "I can do it!", and ever since then you have been carrying yourself a little differently. You help me make smoothies and French toast every morning, but now you're starting to be able to do most of it on your own with little help. You name the missing ingredients and give me instructions to assist you. 

By the time you are reading this it won't seem like something huge to you. You'll be big and doing all kinds of big kid things. But, from your dad's perspective this was really special to see you carry yourself so proudly with independence. This world is yours, my sweet little boy, and all I can promise from myself is to try my hardest to show you love and patience. Those are the only things you need to begin any journey, I hope you remember that. If you love doing something enough, it will eventually reward you for your patience and dedication. You can do it, of course you can do it!

Love,

Dad

Guitars and Treasure Maps

Hey Salem,

You're away at the moment and I am starting to miss you a bit. I always miss you when you're gone, but sometimes it helps to dream up all of the things we can do together someday. Right now you are on a wild learning streak, and it seems like every single day you are coming up with new words. You can count to ten quickly, and I hear it when you're excitedly counting the wheels on the trucks of your cool new blanket on your cool new bed. I love that bed and I love watching the lights on the ceiling from your little projector. Sometimes we just make shadows with the flashlight from my phone and tell stories about animals we haven't seen yet.

So, today has me thinking about something creative and I'm sure this is just an overflow of the sudden rush of musical inspiration I have been feeling lately. It's strange how music and art come in waves to me. Admittedly, I was ignoring those inspiring calls of creativity, but it's all coming back to me. I was on fire today. I want to share that fire with you, and I am always wondering to myself how to do that while respecting your own personal interests. You see Salem, I'll love and support you no matter what you are into. I know what I'm into and I know what inspires me, but I always am very aware that everybody feels inspiration in different ways. Maybe you're a sports guy, or a writer, or maybe something I haven't ever dreamed of. Whatever it is, I will be here for you and try my best to help you grow in your creative pursuits. 

Sometimes we feel no creativity at all, and it is up to us to be mindful that this is always temporary. This is our time for observation and learning. It took me a long time to understand that, so be patient with yourself. 

Gosh, I wonder what you'll be like in the coming years. I will never rush the time, but I have always been comfortable with its passing. We're just temporary things, just like our creativity. Yet, life is an artform and we are given some very beautiful colors to work with. Maybe you'll think stuff like that is silly to say. Maybe you'll think dad is lame. I'm okay with that. Dads are lame. But dads are only dads because of their children and I am so deeply happy with nothing else in this world quite like I am being your dad. 

Go out there and get yours from this world. I mean, it's not your time yet. You're so young still, but you have that spark of adventure in your eyes. I can see it every time you get that look on your face before running off when we are playing at the park. But, you're also so loving, and I can see that clearly when you show endless kindness to everybody you meet. My God that makes me so proud of you, Salem. I love everything you're becoming.

I admire you dude,

Dad

Carpathia Park

Hi Salem,

It's a gorgeous day. The leaves on the trees are showing their true colors, and right on time. You're currently at the playground by my old elementary school spending time with Grandma, and it suddenly makes me excited just writing those words. That place brings back a lot of memories, so pardon me while I indulge in some nostalgia.

When I was growing up, that place used to have a different playground. It was in the same spot but it was made of aging wood that kind made it look like a heavily-weathered fortress. My friends and I used to run our imaginations wild near that fortress pretending that we were various characters from video games. We had imaginary swords and powerful fireballs that protected us from all kinds of bad guys. Our bikes were like airships, dragons, or other legendary vehicles that could carry you from town to town and across the seas through a far-off land of fantasies. We used to come up with names for our characters and score their hit points, magic and other stats that we would use to battle enormous and terrifying monsters as final bosses. 

It makes me smile so happily to think of you swinging on the swings at that playground like Grandma described over the phone. Will you see anything like that in your mind's eye when you remember growing up? Will you even remember this day? Probably not in the detail your grandmother will, but I'm sure that somewhere in there you will know that the entire world is a lot more fun with a vivid imagination. I mean, that's just my perspective of it, and I'm totally aware that others don't see the world with the same desire to dabble in fantasy. I'm just happy that you're there right now, and I can't wait to see you when you come home. 

Love,

Dad